The bench we had to sit on

This picture was taken outside of the Children's Hospital. You just HAD to sit on the pig. I suppose sometimes we have to try things just to see if the results turn out to be as expected. I initially tried to rationalize with you... "it's just a regular bench that happens to be built into a pig statue, you really don't need to sit on it". I soon realized that you had to learn for yourself.

We went to the Children's Hospital to test you for Cystic Fibrosis. You see, I am a carrier and your father is not so usually this would mean you are in the clear. But, unfortunately, they only test for the most prevalent strands (and not the thousands of mutations). Also, Texas (where you were born) does not do infant testing. Normally, we won't have though twice about it but you have had so many sinus infections (even after the adenoid surgery) and the doctor was concerned. She told me repeatedly that it was unlikely that you had it, but once she brought it up, I couldn't get it out of my head. I just HAD to get that test done.

The test was easy; the next 24 hours were not. I thought extensively about being a mother to a child that was going to have chronic illness and probably die by 35 years. I thought about the other mothers out there that care for chronically ill children and truly believe that these women are saints.

Every time my phone rang, I felt a knot in the pit of my stomach. You, of course, know by now that the test was negative. Thank god. I feel so blessed to have such healthy children.